She made me repeat after her: "I take responsibility for what I put in my own mouth."
it was like he was trying to blow his nose in my vagina
There is too much vodka and too much dick.
Excused from finishing the term project because my lab partner got arrested. For the second year in a row. Public school, I love you.
He is in the front yard trying to catch birds out of the air with a fishing net.
apparently the last bar didn't like my halloween costume with syringes filled with whiskey
hey this is Madison. you gave me your number last night and asked me to remind you that you didn't fuck anyone. you okay?
Normally I would go for him, but there's just way too much vodka under the bridge for that
Can you work for me at 4? We might have just taken some drugs we found in the couch and... end of story
The least you could do is send me some gibberish so I know you're alive.
Fuhga
Thank you.
He cannot be your sugar daddy. He looks like a literal hot dog.
"he sent me a picture of a puppy in return for a picture of my boobs. He then captioned it with "look it's puppies first time at the beach". "
THE AUSTRALIAN IS SINGLE AS FUCK.
I can't remember what I did last night, but judging from the state of my hair I had a pretty good time.
The man at the checkout said "Somebody's not fucking around".
It's gonna be a good night
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