So its not gay if you have sex with another woman and its academic
so what if I'm having sex with a woman for recreation?
Thats gay
hey, can i borrow that thing you never use?
what?
your penis
so I just used the H1N1 mask my mom gave me for college to hold in a bong hit longer... god I love orientation week
when did we get so old that our friends started having LEGITIMATE children?
You going to have to be more specific than the night we blew an 8ball off the toilet..
I called my dad at 3 a.m. because I thought he'd be proud that I didnt get arrested. Daddys little girl at her finest...
I would've been fine if I didn't do the three shots
You did like 8
I just brushed my teeth. In the car. With watered down Sprite. From Saturday. Multi-tasking at its finest.
I don't care how sexy you think I look in my scrubs. Wanting a blow job is not a medical emergency.
I'm not sure I can continue to condone our having sex in all of your friends' beds
Nothing quite like walking through a spider web on your way back in from smoking to fuck up a perfectly good high.
Also this time, I didn't have a random creepy guy come up from behind me, grab my junk, and whisper "where's the cocaine?" in my ear. So that's also a win.
just once i'd like to actually BE there for your crazy drunk stories instead of just getting the play-by-play by people who can't remember half of it
The fact he has had a girlfriend for 5 years and they are trying to work it out isn’t going to stop me from sleeping with him. He said it himself you can’t cheat on someone you love...
would it be awkward if i bring my husband?
only if i fuck you in the bathroom while he's paying the check
Randomize
