oh no, I think we did it in the 'front asshole'
this party is like a fast-foward into the future when im 40 and married with children
i am officially better prepared for a hangover tomorrow than i was for christmas.
During sex he wiggled his hips and said "I'm turning the ice cream" Deal breaker?
porn star boner night. come get it.
This might be the most awkward night of my life. And I had someone pee on me once.
i walked in on you eating. you had the fridge wide open and you were rotating between steak and handfuls of captain crunch.
If you could come over after class and poke me with a stick to see if im still alive id really appreciate it
I don't remember much of half-time. I do remember climbing onto the roof of the fraternity and telling people I was going to stargaze in French.
Stripper just cleaned my glasses with her nipple...
By the way, just opened the browser on my phone for the first time today... And it was it the "images" section of "who invented ass fucking"
So thanks for that
Honey you are a beautiful woman but I came over to eat your pizza and fuck your brother. And you're out of pizza.
Drunk sex on a hardwood floor is never ever a good idea. Lesson learned.
He burst in the bathroom while I was peeing to hand me my beer I was looking for earlier tht night. And my pants were already down so I thought why not
On the good side I got hit on by a cute college guy. But the bad side was having sex in a frat house for first time in 9 years
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