Dude i fell asleep inside of her
thats awesome
How the hell am I supposed to know what lotion to get her? They should have a dressing booth where I could go test how good it is for jerking off, then I'd know.
"Shots" has been nominated for a grammy. Now all of the US has sunken to our level...
As weird as that was it was probably the best advice i've ever gotten from a tranny
Why the fuck did I wake up in a chair with mouth clamps?!
Dropping the entire last roll of TP into the toilet is a hurt you don't want to know.
So, I'm drinking, and I put my head down in the table. The cat jumped up to check on me, I have a cat sober monitor.
Maybe there is a secret pocket full of cocaine in that spiderman wallet.
I decided I was tough enough to wax my bikini area myself. Long story short, I'll be drunk when you get home
She went to her drug test stoned.
And strangely enough, we all know she'll pass it.
You went in the back with her.. And honestly I couldn't tell her neck from her tits man..
all I know is this drummer better stop eye fucking me while he plays cowbell. it is way too early for that.
I just wanted to be the best at what I did even if that included sexing a whole fraternity or sorority ya know?
I’m a go ahead and fuck down ATL. So when I leave in January I’ll have no regrets.
hey, i didnt think i could be this stupid either but you dont see ME getting all judgemental about it
Randomize
