I like it. Barfy the gin-flavoured Assman
Im drinkin out of a coconut! I think im gonna dip my balls in it!
bought some hannah montana deodorant. hope it doesnt make me smell untalented
Sad news: I might have to institute a "once-per-day" policy on getting trashed downtown. Sorry, reputation.
Apparently it's poor taste to ask for a break up blow job...in McDonald's. Also, that's not the best way to break the news either.
Oh I woke up in my neighbors garage using one of their sleeping bags, as my neighbor was doing laundry in there.
My only regret is that I have but one penis to give to your vagina.
Yeah dude. Pulled out the couch and a bird flew at me. Please tell me who put a bird in my house.
he went at my nipples like a starved dog.
It's def pee. WHY DO I PEE ON THINGS WHEN I DRINK TEQUILA
I don't know. I just have an affinity for nudity when I'm drunk.
How the hell am I supposed to tell that to a group of eight year olds?! It was three in the afternoon for fucks sake!
Got a $290 noise violation last night for shouting "THE KING OF THE NORTH" til 2 am
DESTROY DICK DECEMBER\nTHE SUN SHINES ON THE THIRSTY
we went outside for a smoke and when we came back in you were ptfo on the floor holding the phone to your ear. Pizza pizza was on the line.
I remember you banged her while I was dying on your couch, so good call
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