He came and then made the Jim Halpert face. does that say disappointment or what
Taking shots out of pine wood derby trophiesssssss. best idea ever.
I told her we could be friends and she said the last time i told her that we had sex behind a bar at 4am
I think i lit a firework with a joint. happy birthday, america?
she drove 3 hrs one way just to sleep with me. I felt bad complaining about paying for condoms.
I asked her politely not to touch my dick
blowjobs from left handed girls are noticably better than from righties. these are the most important things I've learned this semester
I had to ask. I mean when you get a snap chat of a nipple you have to ask who's it is.
have you ever seen all dogs go to heaven this is important
She's started this new thing where whenever she drives by random couples talking alone outside she yells "break up! this is your sign!"
Gay bathhouses. They're actually a thing. So god does exist. And he doesn't hate me as much as you think he does
My ass is underappreciated
Would you consider masturbating to Hocus Pocus an adulthood high or low?
There it is. Caramel-coated dick. Someone is getting a yeast infection later.
Perfect. I'll put on my party clothes and write emergency numbers on my arm
Randomize
