hotel room ftw
so this guy comes in from the patio covered in puke and says "we gotta go"...Yup u need to go is an understatement
He had a stripper pole in his bedroom. I didn't know whether to be impressed or creeped out.
We're friends. And when I drunkenly send u a pic of my left testicle i would appreciate a response.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Just saw a woman walking a golden retriever and a vacuum down the road. I miss downtown.
He sang nursery rhymes to my vagina to get me to have sex with him..
He just used my bikini trimmer to give himself a fumanchu. And I still plan on having sex with him tonight. This has to be what true love feels like.
you sat up and said "i'm the worst kind of roommate, the drunk kind"
Okay, just a casual question: how did i manage to get grass stains on the inside of my bra?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
My lips are sealed. Both pairs.
And at least you didn't have a dinner of Ranch Pringles and Double Stuff Oreos. I forgot that part of being single.
I did the walk of shame wearing his scrubs. Fucking med school students is the way to go.
Should I have a moral quandary about Skyping topless with him while his son slept in the other room?
And then he said he wanted to "get really weird with me on my horse." I took that as he wants to fuck me while riding my horse. Could be a good time.
My bald co-worker just chugged a literal gallon of coffee. My condolences to his kidneys.
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