Where you are. You must stay where you are are
Where you are. You must stay where you are arewhere are youu
Where you are. You must stay where you 5eare wher are you!!
She said I was really immature but whatever...oh by the way we just bought a toilet and turned it into a beer bong so come over
just because she blew him doesn't mean she knows his name.
the higher we get, the more he looks like ray charles.
My nipple rings set off the metal detector at the courthouse this morning.
I woke up and the only 2 bowls I own were shattered on my floor. Pretty sure my hand and tailbone are broken and I have no idea what the fuck happened
Ok, it's starting to sound like someone's out there trying to learn to play the trombone while breaking kitchenware.
The woman in the flower onesie is claiming she hasn't been drinking.
I have no inclination to even want to think about what God's existential meltdown is going to be like. O.o
YOU DESERVE A GUY WITH A NORMAL DICK DONT SETTLE FOR ANYTHING LESS
Why do all the Father's Day cards talk about what a great dad they are? Why can't there be one that says something like "Thanks for sticking it to mom and making me possible, your sperm was appreciated."
How does one tell their boyfriend they're pregnant with someone else's kid??
I fucked a French man last night. 5 Times. Ashed my cig in his cactus. That later set on fire while we were having sex.
God I miss you. I would very much like to have sexual intercourse with you. I'm home eating chicken alfredo.
Don't try to butter me sideways
That is without a doubt the most Southern thing you have ever said.
Randomize
