Nope, Im Irish and pissed with some drunk mixed in...therefore punching things is the best solution to every problem.
Where the fuck is Rob at, he hasnt answered his phone in like 2 weeks.
Dude Rob died 2 weeks ago wtf?
Holy shit r u serious? How?
Just kidding, but im pretty sure he boned your gf and doesnt want to talk to you.
I never thought that I'd hear someone utter the words, "I need another studded belt." I was wrong.
you haven't felt a hangover until you wake up after a night of snorting tequila.
He held me the entire night. Not endearing kind of way. Like kidnapping or held hostage kind of way.
Ive made peace with the fact that i will accomplish nothing except liver damage today
I was really excited when he said that condoms didn't fit him, then he added "they fall right off"...
Just so you know, if you are not feeling well today it's cause you drank a gatorade bottle full of highlighter fluid.
Babysitting for someone you accidently sent nudies to is so fucking awkward.
And I can feel feelings now and they hurt
I'm out of prison. Wanna start a band?
SOS YOU NEED TO TAKE THE CANDY PANTIES OUT OF THE GLOVE COMPARTMENT BEFORE MOM TAKES MY CAR
You know Sunday Funday was a success when 'puke and rally' came at lunchtime on Monday.
Shriek
That shit was hard as fuck. It felt like a mountain entering my vagina.
You gotta do what you gotta do. Like how I gotta drive in the rain to go get chicken nuggets. I just gotta.
Randomize
