Well I think that's a good thing that I'm not full of someone else.
remind me not buy ky at kmart ever again. Had to get a manager to open the locked case. then he stood there and watched me look through the selection
I hate that ur telling me this.
in the 'for' section of the check i put "when we got drunk and broke things". again im sorry.
I just wanted to let you know I just licked gravy off of my boobs. Just putting that out there.
This is to remind you the pizza is in the dishwasher birthday boy eat it before it goes on
we just finished a porn and sex toy shopping spree. this is the fun part of "being serious"
Let's paint friendship bongs
well the night couldnt get much worse after she peed all over herself and the sidewalk.
I want to get business cards and hand them to hot guys and say " hey if you ever want to like makeout and pretend it never happened call me"
official rule: if your drunk, it doesn't count
then nothing in my life counts
I'm naked, I'm drunk, and I'm all up on social media right now
I took a sleeping pill while he was in the bathroom. Time for a game of how long can we bang before I fall asleep.
You are both horrible and amazing
Hahahaha don't tempt me. Remember we're trying to avoid airport jail if possible
And thanks to you I'm pretty sure I'm banned from every qdoba in south carolina. And cab company
Dude. Woke up this morning wearing that chick's panties. 8/10, would recommend. I love tequila.
Randomize
