He bought me ice cream and then I gave him a bj
I think that's fair trade off
The girl here has a popped collar. Can I slap her?
Yes. For all mankind please do.
love makes seman taste better
I finally got her to squirt but it wasnt a stream, it came out in the form of mist. I felt like I was in rainforest cafe.
I have vodka an food stamps. At some point today, that will undoubtedly turn into jello shots.
It was going well until he told me about the 7k he made in college to be in a gay porn
I tried to interpretive dance to Candy Shop to stop the awkwardness.
Like, he's a nice guy. But he's better at fingering than he is at speaking.
Pretty sure I sang "What Makes You Beautiful" to some random guy in a parking lot last night...
I need you to know that everytime my toddler does the downward facing dog in the nude I think about the night you and your dude fell in love.
No I did not just post a Craigslist ad for a used stripper pole because I can't afford my own. But now that you put the idea in my head I might have to.
I expect you will be there for a drunken 3way with my husband again this new year.
Well I mean I HAD done a pretty good job of not pooping myself through the years
I remember being like "I can't hold both of you guy's hair back!" so I put headbands on each of you
The drive thru lady at McDonald's asked how I was and I responded by opening the car door and throwing up all over the drive thru lane. Happy Sunday.
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