I dont understand how a fully grown man could convince himself that lime green crocks would look good on him.
i told him he had the best dick i've ever seen. then supposedly i kept repeating "peter piper picked the perfect penis"
You hooked up with 4 random girls, avoided your grilfriend finding out about it, and dodged traffic on Park Ave. Can you say luck of the Irish?
Like my mouth was on his pelvis connected to his balls that's how far it was
DIN'T JUSGE NE.
Just traded the drive-through guy at BK a Dos Equis for a Hershey pie before noon... win?
I feel like a cloud. A cloud that wants to be laid.
All those movies are bullshit, there is no way to run down a line of parked cars, they`re too far apart. my faces hurts so much right now
Well I met my booty call's parents by accident, so that happened.
So I have to borrow my moms car tomorrow to go pick up my ID from the strip club so I can board my plane tomorrow
Snaps to my Ella Fitzgerald station for such a jazzy walk of shame
I need to stop waking up with no pants on.
what happened this time
I dont know everyone was gone and there was a bird in the room
I woke up wearing nothing but my red thigh high socks and a blue wig. I have no idea what happened.
I just realized u compared me to a coconut
Nothing wrong with a little cat scratch fever. You have toys?
A few, plus a dildo molded from a porn star that I've always been too intimidated of to actually use, but it's the apocalypse, and momma didn't raise no quitter.
Randomize
