I'm trying to bond with my sister... Its like getting to know a person I never met that I don't like
I saw his dick soo much last night when I saw him this morning all I saw was penis where his face should be
Is it weird I want to fuck the cartoon chick from e-surance??
the first call I got in the morning was from visa fraud prevention so yeah it was one of those nights
please dont tell anyone i was drunk
you were publicly making out with a very old very spandex covered woman...they know
did you come by the house last night? I found a half eaten corn dog in the mail box.
She said just put your tongue in there and don't linger. I have other things to do.
I can't turn my head to the left, I'm pissing out of my ass, and my finger went through the toilet paper today... I need you.
Crazy fun. I think I got a concussion from a stripper
I just looked at your pics on Facebook....there was cake? Where the fuck was I!?
when you come home i just want to let you know we are cats now. and we are out of eggs.
Up until today, I never would have thought I'd have to tell someone not to color on the cat
Want to help me look around town for my shorts from last night?
What's clit gel and why is it in my wallet.
Why the fuck am I at this dorm meeting? I don't pay $50,000 a year to stay sober.
Randomize
