As a pleasant surprise..I woke to find a Burrito and Bottle of Gatorade .....Merry XMAS to ME
Do u kno any dealers?
I've officially lost all respect for you, dad.
I'm seeing double. Its like being in a room full of people
I had it in my eyebrows, my bangs, under one eye, and across both cheeks. Congratulations on the successful and elusive warpaint cumshot.
Why do you apologize after every time we have sex?
i leave for school in 3 days. if you want your annual goodbye blow job you should probably call me
I can't even teach it... It's just natural slutyness.. My mom has it too
I'm sober in pajamas at a bar. Nothing is ok about that statement.
I was in the bathroom puking up mountains of tequila and when he came to help me, I held the door shut and kept yelling at him to let me be a lady.
fun fact #6 about tuesday nights: giving head with two 40s taped to your hands is not as easy as you would think
Dude. All those hangovers I never had came back with a vengeance. I just opened the door of this car to barf. The car was not motionless. We are on the autobahn.
There is not greater feeling than lying to your boss and leaving work to shit in the comfort of your own home
He showed me his night stand drawer...it has one too many sex things in it.
Exactly how many...is TOO many?
I was too lazy to get my chapstick out of my purse so i lubed up my lips with pizza grease. On a scale of 1-10 how embarassed should i be?
He was publicly touching my boobs before I even knew he's a famous World Cup skier.... That's how hot he was
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