it tastes like there's a party in my mouth and everyone is throwing up
I've been deciding between brands of bagels for 20 minutes. This why I doint smoke weed.
both the worst and best vomit ever... it was extra chunky and thick cause of the sausage... but it also tasted like delicious sausage... also cause of the sausage
drunk tastebuds have low standards.
I use him for alcohol and he uses me for sex. This is the closest thing to love i could imagine
He had a cowboy hat I don't know where from and he was trying to lasso a snowman with a dog leash.
I asked for a dramatic "funeral" look for my makeup. They judged me.
My tits are coming out a minimum of ten times
Neighbor who got arrested at 3am just said he'd split the $ with me if I testify as the witness in his police brutality trial. He was also holding a baby and a case of beer.
in other news i'm homewrecking via instagram
25 likes of a picture on Instagram of my butthole. beat that.
Like I'm literally drinking whiskey and making a stocking for my cat right now. What. Goes. On.
These cutoffs are too tight but my ass looks like Freedom
I just have to point out that once I typed "fa" my phone filled in "fatass"
just had an acid flashback in my therapist's office. i am a walking stereotype
Randomize
