I think she gave up trying 2 land a bf and let herself go
You misogynist thinking that every girl wants a bf
They do. I don't appreciate u using big words idk and im gonna take offense
Doing final review now. Then epic shit. Then going to take it. Should start it be 1030. Done by 2. Drunk by 3. Hammered by 4. Blacked out by 5. Streaking by 6. Jail sometime after that
sometimes you just have to masturbate at your friend's house.
His pubic hair was longer than his dick
Woke up with an epic boner today, the kind where you can spin books and shit on it. FYI: don't try spinning an encyclopedia
I had to download the flashlight app so I could finish taking a dump when the power went out.
Sometimes I think I have so much sex with you to be sure you're actually straight.
That dog was the best thing i ever touched
I feel like you just railed me after that sext
I am currently in a U-Haul truck right now. Going to a party. I hate myself.
The other day I was really high and I felt like my words were coming out of my mouth in flowers...I don't know.
If you had a dick, I would hope it falls off and comes back to haunt you while fucking your ears at night. But you don't. But if you did, that's how mad I am at you
Help. I am eating nachos. But I'm with some guy. I need help. I don't know where I am. The nachos were so good. I'll bring them but help me.
I'm tryna think of an appropriate time to say "when I suck other dicks they seem like training dicks compared to yours" but I really can't think of a good way to say that
I'm going to the store to get corona, salad, and blunt wraps...
Randomize
