if you call bong hits and onion rings a party, then yeah
it wouldnt have been so bad but she still had the cowboy hat on when my mom walked in
My brother and I both agreed that your boobs are fake.
Were making a bet for which twin will relapse while in rehab. I'm going for the chubbier one
I started making my dollar bills into rings for the strippers
He deleted all his profile pics with her. It was like the bat signal for single women everywhere.
In conversation she brought up that she slept with Tucker Max on the UF football field
IF I CAN STICK YOUR DICK IN MY MOUTH, I CAN STICK MY GUM ON YOUR NIGHTSTAND.
My vagina was just really confused why you weren't inside it
Well his dad is my dentist so they've both been in my mouth.
IDK MAYBE BC I WOKE UP IN AN AIRPORT WITH A ONE WAY TICKET TO LONDON
COKE WAS NOT ON THE ITINERARY FOR TONIGHT.
Why do I like him? He literally has no redeeming qualities.
Just saw a fat guy on a flower print moped. He's my hero.
You just can't go back to being friends with someone after you sucked their balls
Randomize
