Well listen chief - never again do i want the scenario of going to the ER totally naked and partially drunk to b a possibility.
I didn't slap you in the face. TEQUILA slapped you with my hand...
Remember when we were trying to guess how many people could fit in my shower? The answer is 7
there's nothing like that first "just failed out of my program" beer
When i asked him what happened all he said was, the toucan... the toucan... over and over again.
Ok well I'll be up all night studying if you need a wake up call or a place to put your penis.
Saxophones in my mind. I swear someone dosed me.
I think cutting a patient out of a owl costume is a first for those guys. It's a good story at least.
Just told my mom I need money for Molly. She was not happy
New drinking game: Drink while you Drink. I'll explain the rules when I see you, needless to say, it's not difficult. Unless you enjoy sobriety, humanity and life. Bestest.
The first time he ever tried to hold my hand, I moon walked away.
just found a picture from last night.
the one of you riding a horse with nothing but a bulletproof vest on?
uhm.... no?...
Wow you are like a taller more attractive sex Yoda.
So I was having a really bad night...so I decided to steal a pumpkin.
Very mixed signals tonight. He gave me the best handjob while gloating about the Superbowl to his dad on the phone. When he was done he left me on the sofa alone for ten minutes before returning with wet wipes beer and nachos.
Randomize
