I'm in your bed right now
Okay meet you there give me 10
Don't think you can make me leave either
Give me ten I ha e to be ******'s wingman I want you
I actually just cleaned easy glide lube off my desk. My life has gone way down hill since I met you.
mom just found 19 empty wine bottles in my closet. i hate spring cleaning
According to last night if you on the sidewalk at 12 a|m\nYour a WHORE !
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
No dude trust me, just go a strip club at their busiest hours and pick the ugliest chick. Guaranteed she blows you for under 20$, the record stands at $7.67 and a pen from Bank of America,
i was holding a cup in her face for her to throw up in while screaming THIS IS THE DEFINITION OF FRIENDSHIP
It probably isn't a good idea to go home with last night's hookup's brother. And sister.
Probably is probably an understatement.
So I just did the math and everything in this room except the computer and my clothes has been in my vagina
He made me keep his swollen nut cold with frozen bags of peas while rubbing his tummy because he said I had no choice.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Mainly I just wanna pet bunnies. And purple chicks. Well any color chicks if I close my eyes. But purple if I open them.
Why is my car covered in what appears to be salsa verde?
she started chasing me through the forest like a horny serial killer
You know, this is NOT how I pictured my life would be when I was younger, and yet here we are.
I think everyone at the office can tell I'm dehydrated
you mean still drunk
I've heard it both ways
I’m a go ahead and fuck down ATL. So when I leave in January I’ll have no regrets.
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