So I have to ask... did I meet your lumberjack expectations? I mean, minus the red flannel and all.
I have got to lose weight!! Apparently no one wants to fuck a fat chick with herpes.
No she wasnt mad! I told her that I "mis-remembered" nailing her friend.
It only happened twice. Once we used extra virgin olive oil and once I used saliva and brute force.
So how do we make 4/20 better than every other day we are stoned?
id pay someone 5 dollars to tell me whos house im at right now. comfy couch though
There are a bunch of guys at the door looking for the guy you brought back to the condo...pretended not to speak English. You're welcome.
Jail wasn't bad. Was poppin Xanax the whole way there
By the power invested in me, I now pronounce your taco to be meaty. Meaty taco meaty taco meaty meaty meaty taco.
Watch the news tonight. They interviewed me about a fire. I was high as balls so it should be entertaining.
I can't even tell you how many rave sticks I tore apart with my teeth last night.
The girl next to me looks like the young version of sara (bonnie hunt) in jumanji. I wanna be like PLAY THE GAME SARA!!!!"
It's the third day of class and I got told I smell like a distillery.
Yes please. My parents would fucking love him and I'd love fucking him. That's a win-win if I've ever seen one.
That's the 3rd negative pregnancy test this month. I'm on a roll.
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