We got bored. So we went to planned parenthood to stare at everyone who made worse decisions than us last night.
and this is why I hate my dad. He got 25x more angry with me when I wanted to drive a different route then he suggested to get to his house (more scenic- thus more enjoyable) then he did when I told him I was driving drunk with 4 people in the car and I got my 5th speeding ticket last night.
Who has a video camera? i want to look back on this one day and say OH thats why i spent 2 years in jail
She refered to her bed as the "cockpit"....I understand that this morning.
I kno. She bruised her chin trying to swim thru the hardwood floor.
That's the international "my vagina is unoccupied, come talk to us" chant. You have your mission. Go.
From one hot mess to another... Get it together.
Bring the pizza ill bring the boundaries we can cross
Yeah play it cool maybe put in a kissy face though let him know you're giving an invitation for his dick
I watch one musical on Netflix, and the "Suggested for you" section is literally almost the entire gay movie category. I feel profiled, and netflixs' accuracy about my sexuality is both impressive and offensive.
If you think hives from an allergic reaction to lube is funny, remind me to tell you the story about how I got a black eye from masturbating.
He said his name was Tony, after last night I will refer to him as Tiny
I'm keeping both. The way I see it, boyfriends come and go, but a good dick is forever.
All I remember is pissing by the garage and the next thing I know I'm on fire
Hey what are you up to?
I am wear the people with the mustaches live. I have found their home.
DUDE, WE BOUGHT THE ACID TOGETHER.
Randomize
