So she puts out... but it wasn't worth it
I don't know what's more sad: The fact that he fingered the side of my leg, or the fact that the side of my leg feels like a vagina.
In a bar in glasgow talking to a 12 year old about life. Welcome to Kentucky.
No period for spring break; use this wisely.
He won't talk to me. He'll only communicate using scissors
Your last day of twenties? OK. Then I'll give you til midnight. Then you turn into a pumpkin. A big, 30 year old pumpkin.
Update is I am officially king of Gettysburg. Tam and I are being threaded like royakt. In bought e ruined a drink
I asked if he wanted to sext and he just started sending me pictures of his beard.
Either I'm too drunk or she gave me a hand job to the rhythm of jingle bells.
My vagina loves me do-dah do-dah my vagina loves me do-dah do-dah
I picture you throwing your vagina around in the same fashion that they pass out candy at a parade.
You should have. Partying with 60 year olds and batman is so much better than partying with bitches our age.
I just made a flawless coverstory for why I dont have my car and why I left the party on foot. #adultererskills
I know you're aving fun across the room but I can clearly see you getting a handy. It's not as "low key" as she promised. Also, why are you texting while she's doing it?!
It's a sad day when ur phone automatically updates u on Thursdays that traffic is normal and how long it will take to get to the bar
That's fucking great actually
He has a bear rug in his room. I'm going to ask if we can have sex on it. Wilderness sex.
Randomize
