If a woman tells you she has been pink socked...don't move forward with her.
too bad being hungover isnt a job. just threw up from 9am to 5pm
Does your gf have any friends she can hook me up with?
Better looking than her though please.
Idk how she did it. Either she watches freakier porn than I do, or I really need to go get tested.
Found a cheerleading trophy in my shower this morning. Explain.
She insisted on fucking on the futon mattress on the floor, answered the phone call from her boyfriend who was on his way to pick her up, and then had the audacity to ask if I was clean
Yes. I am getting trashed on an open tab while judging a karoke competition
Impressive. I approve.
Have the decency to NOT HANG YOU'RE USED CONDOM ON THE FOOSEBALL HANDLES! Dickhead.
In other news I have discovered that grindr is the easiest way to get free meals
He just walked up to me in the kitchen, pulled out his penis and stuck it in my sweatpants pocket.
It was probably cold. Sweatpants pockets are notoriously warm.
Whatever, I used my iphone to send an Escalade to pick up a booty call last week. For free. It is futuristic as fuck out here.
Mike passed out early so we kept filling his mouth with redi-whip and letting the dog lick it out, but he started getting hives so we stopped.
Serious question, on a scale of go for it to what the fuck are you thinking, what's me going to a monk or any religious official and saying "baptize me daddy" in a serious voice?
I woke up alone, naked in her bed staring at a lifesize poster of edward cullen,actually I'm lying I did have socks on
I didn't know it was possible and I don't know if I'll ever be able to do it again on my own but he literally fuck me sideways.
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