I wanted to tell him he wasn't actually in me, but my god, awkward?
I keep trying to sit and the chair keeps running away from me
Have you ever seen a midget fist pump? BEST. THING. EVERRRRR.
We pinky-swore to never fuck each other again.
I may have pooped in your shoe. or somewhere else in your closet. its unclear.
So where are we on this whole, you write my paper...i do sexual favors situation?
Hey, i turned the toilet into a water fountain. Drink up.
GLITTER SLIP N SLIDE MUTHAFUCKAH~
I feel like telling him your vigina was older than him was not a good pick up line.
The only difference is Iv never super glued straws to your nipples.
also I saw his dick in the morning light and it was glorious. Like staring upon your birthday cake you ordered from heaven and going " can't wait to eat that later"
I've never had sex that lasts this long though. It's ridiculous. I feel like I need a Gatorade and a sweatband and a sub.
Rain drop, shock top, drinking can't stop stop
I wanted to write an apology letter to my vagina after that.
oh he pulled my dick out. wanna come over after he leaves
GET OFF YOUR PHONE
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