Regardless, you never quit out of your interenet. You left your porn on the living room comp. Then you passed out four feet from the chair with your hand still down your pants. We decided that we should go back to her place instead. Worlds best wingman.
So my teacher figured out I made a drinking game out of her lecture. Once my drink was gone she let us out. Happy St. Patricks day class. Your welcome
My booty call got married. Come over before I start tagging all the places my dick has been in her wedding photos.
Already puke and ralleyd and dressed like a bear.
Well, he has like 3 girlfriends but I think I could be polygamist for that dick.
Just so you know swallowing does not help chest colds. Your Phd can suck my dick
We have a bucket list tonight. Not done yet. Gotta climb a building
I couldn't drown my sorrows in an ocean of jack daniels. They may have scuba gear.
He was just lying on the living room floor watching Star Wars with six empty pack of cigarettes and two empty cases of beer.
In his defence I guess I did take the bed, couch and dining room set in the breakup.
he shit on the floor last night i'm not venturing down there
I think its awesome that i just got you to cheer for sex
Well sex is awesome. Sex deserves cheers.
yyyea i think im gonna go get a bowl and play skyrim. And by bowl i mean something i can throw up in, not weed
We were going to play manhunt in a strip club, calling it mancunt.
Let's just say when I woke up I was still drunk. My hangover hit me around noon so I chilled w my dad and took a bath and shower at the same time. You just can't do that at college
Punched myself in the face trying to open a bottle of Vicodin one handed. Night is going well.
Randomize
