the girl sitting next to me in class is using her birth control box as a ruler
man i wonder what i would be like if i had never started smoking weed
Good lord, they've set up every firework to be ignited by a trail of gasoline at midnight. God save us all.
no i decided against it. savin my coke binge for finals week.
I heard you were walking home with taylor with your dress completely up and your ass exposed
Yeah, that sounds like my life.
You know how I've been hooking up with my ex? Well he told me he loved me and I said I was just there for sex so let's get it done. He looked sad, but he did it anyways. And life was good again.
Ok ladies its the usual spring break system. 5 for a guy, 10 for a non-lesbian girl and double points is its a group thing. Hottest guy of the day is an additional 15. GAME ON
how do you ask an olympian for your underwear back?
Also, I just realized you seduced me while in a batman onesie... Well done, sir. Well done.
I Pavlov-trained him by smacking him in the nuts anytime I caught him looking at another girl in public. To this day, he's afraid to break eye contact with me in a restaurant if a tall busty blonde walks in.
also had sex in his sister's princess style bunk bed.
but you are a princess that one was appropriate.
I gave him a BJ in the shower
I just fell and it seemed like a good idea when I was down there
am drunk, naked, and blow drying cat. need adult supervision
Drunk. Come get me. Out front blue shirt.
Where are you? And you borrowed my shirt. I know what you're wearing. How wasted are you?
Hotel
WHICH HOTEL??
She climbed in my window blew me and left. She's in my phone as the blow job fairy
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