just watched an entire episode so you think you can dance for head. so wasn't worth it
I feel like I should limit myself to one meal prepared from a box per day
Its like after 6 beers, the clap doesn't scare me anymore.
Also I hooked up with a trainer at my gym. Between her, the married chick, and the bartender, my life is becoming a bad porn plot.
she could've warned me his penis was curved
ya i dont think she expected you to get with her boyfriend.
Came to from my blackout with native american warrior facepaint on I'm too old for this shit
The facepaint not the blacking out
I'm gonna fingerblast you when you get off work. Get ready.
dude to be honest with you there is a used condom that ive just left on my floor for three days
you have got to get your shit together
This whole bra on the outside of my shirt thing is so convenient. It turns my shirt into a pocket to eat Fritos out of. Mmm boobies
We were banging then all I remember is coming down hard and smashing my top teeth off his forehead. I just rolled off and tapped out. Done-zo
Another beautiful Sunday, another beautiful day the stick is not positive. Amen.
Your friend gave me you're number. I was the guy locked behind the book shelf.
I think you have the wrong number, but I hope you escaped your library-prison?
it'll be like the notebook except for with way more of my penis
I puked on her cat, I think I should at least buy her breakfast
I didn't realize how hungover I was until I fell asleep in my math lecture, and woke up I'm my history class. How is got there still remains a mystery...
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