He keeps saying he loves me and ruining perfectly good conversations.
i wish sherlock holmes were still around today... he'd be able to find my g-spot.
this kid at 40 friday greeted another kid by saying "heeey farmville neighbor"
dude.
yep. needless to say i didn't meet anyone and spent yet another friday night masturbating.
My farts smell like St. Pauli Girl. Last night was too much for a Monday.
He told me he was a psychology major, and I responded by asking him where he hid his vagina.
how do you tell someone you stalk them in a non-creepy way
you don't.
Ask him about a girl named Meg then give a disappointed and disapproving face.
The last mom I slept with was the worst lay ever. Imagine fucking a hairy wet pillow for 60 minutes. Good luck with your milf. I was joking about the Susan Boyle comment btw.
He brought wine and beer. I'll put my pants on for wine and beer.
Most men with as many freckles as you aren't vagina magnets. You are an exception to your kind.
You screamed "I NEED TO GET THE WHOLE SET!" and then proceeded to try touching everyone's balls in the room
Straight up asked lady in a lime green jumpsuit how to make your ass clap. That thing wiggled more beautifully than ocean waves at sunset
A bee came out of the shoe box and stung her. Even the insect community doesn't want her in those hideous things.
IM BACK TOGETHER WITH MY BF AND HERE YOU ARE SUCKING DICK FROM 2009
AMAZON SELLS SEX SWINGS!
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