Are you missing anything? I found a wedding ring in my bed this morning.....
Fuck their fairy tale bullshit. I shall ruin it. With a few thrusts of my cock.
if all i could do was poop and smoke weed, i'd be eternally happy
amen to that sister
god I hate her. why can't she just fuck and leave like a normal slut.
You're sure you don't want to come? I'm pretty sure there is going to be "Pin the Tail on the Baby".
I swear to God, I just heard my guardian angel tell us to stop. I think we should listen.
People said that when they tried to talk to me I answered that there was a glass around my head stopping me from answering them
I dont know. Theres no way you can be ready for the sex hurricane that will consume you.
No, he went to go get condoms. The least I could do was chug two beers before he got back
My office already closed tomorrow. I'm bout to get drunk and build a muh fuckin fort. I shall call it "Fort Fuck You, Sandy, You Fuckin Bitch"
looked up people from my old yearbooks. 3 ex boyfriends are gay. im getting drunk now.
I say camping because "let's go get hammered in the woods" sounds kinda fucking weird to be honest.
So, I never imagined myself puking on the side of the road at 10:30 this morning to Lynyrd Skynyrd but here I am.
You told everyone to shut up then told the officer that you are 21 when you drink.
I can't be sure but I think I slept with a clown last night...
Randomize
