Btw I've read that book you bought me...And I'm such a bitch now
But I don't think guys love me
On valentines day I took a girl on a date that I suspect was homeless
I miss you like a fat girl misses the prom.
I just saw how many times I called you last night. You're welcome.
She got a digital picture frame for her birthday. FINALLY - a place for me to sneak all those penis shots I've taken with my iPhone.
Is 'too horny to study' a good enough medical excuse to not take a final?
Unemployment check just came in. As soon as I stop pretending I have morals I'm buying weed. Puff puff pass uncle sam.
Cute underage boy is in my house.
OH MY GOD. DON'T DO ANYTHING. WHY IS HE IN YOUR HOUSE.
You took photos of my underwear around London the day after! THAT was too soon.
I feel like I would find myself in so much trouble if I hadn't married my DD.
the best part of christmas was when my mom opened the handcuffs that were supposed to be for jen. Surprisingly, not the most awkward situation of the day.
I mean my dick does have feeling again, which is a step in the right direction
I would literally only have sex with a dinosaur right now.
Fuck it, I'm going to make my own dick pic album since iOS 10 won't do it for me.
Would you like to get a drink then hook up or reverse order I don't really care. Hopefully you can keep this between us.
Randomize
