tweet Hawks Win!! tweet
That's how twitter works, right?
Spaghetti and Car Bombs, good idea or what will end up on the bar in a few minutes?
She gave me a bj in her parent's kitchen while I ate the rest of her mom's birthday cake. Fuck. Yes.
Its Friday night, and I'm sitting at home watching are you smarter then a 5th grader, drinking vodka. I got every single question wrong. Clearly you see where I'm headed in life.
I had sex with a Dutch boy on a rock last night. Happy graduation! x x
Can you work for me at 4? We might have just taken some drugs we found in the couch and... end of story
it's like his dick is making a u-turn.
Btw any and all sexual fantasies or arousal I had about cops is null and void.
The part of "Dave" will now be played by "Rob." Rob, why don't you unzip and show Dave why that is.
Not my fault the fence refused to just break when I ran into it.
Yeah well I just had an orgasm on my bathroom floor so there's a first for everything I guess
She is getting high and watching the Hobbit. I want her life.
So she is basically watching her own life story: short people traveling to strange places.
We were making eye contact while i was throwing up.
Dude there's ten thousand dollars worth of damage to the kids house and three thousand in stolen property and his dog is missing he is pissed
If I give him back his dog do you think he'll invite me to the next party
What does it mean when the bartender gives you 4 straws?
Randomize
