I am full of burrito and curiosity
I managed to convince him it was his fault I cheated on him...he spent the last 40 minutes going down on me. I feel legendary.
He came in my eye, I lost my earring and all of his friends saw me topless. Happy New Year to you as well.
Gave a homeless guy 3 bucks earlier. Just saw him at the bar. He bought one beer and left. Happy to see my 3 dollars was well spent
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I have a plus one for the Blackout Express, should I pen in your name?
It went alright, nothing too special, just got threatened with a knife by our server.
God, for the last time, no I did not break my nose doing a keg-stand just for a nose job.
Ok if you are accepting my apology, please continue to ignore me. If you are not, please fill out the brief survey that follows, to help me improve my people relations: a) your a bitch please leave me alone b)your crazy pls leave me alone c) I never cared ab u please leave me alone. D) all of the above e) all of the above but I wouldn't mind still fucking u. F) who are you again? Your answer will not b shared and will b used in accord. With the law. TY
No...this little piggys going to the bar
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Please warn me if you ever end up in porn, cause I don't want to stumble across that on accident, okay?
don't care how drunk i am. my dick was like "nope, not doing it, you can't make me and i was like oh yes i can"
Regret, thy taste is box wine.
I'm making poor life decisions again. Tune in tomorrow to see how much I hate life.
Can't talk, ducks in the car
There are footprints all over my windshield
You said you were making waffles...
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