You know, Peter Parker would not have been nearly as cool if he had gotten bitten by an ant.
call me tomorrow and ask me about coke-whore stripper. It hasnt happened yet, but im sure it will be plenty disappointing.
It ended with me crying and eating pizza in my closet.
She had her underwear around her neck. No one can tell me i'm a slut now.
As he was under the stripper backwards, he yelled "we should totally be facebook friends"
He just asked me if I wanted a ride on the "bologna pony." I never wanna have sex again...
you start one little fire by the lake and the police want to talk to you all night...
I take pride in being a married 31 year old who sleeps on her best friend's bathroom floor from time to time.
I'm taking a dab in mourning of how long its been since I smoked with you guys.
His 12 year old sister has bigger boobs than me and now that's all I can think about when we have sex
I spent the whole ride asking the cabbie if people ever have sex back there, and if he wanted me to make that number one higher.
You wanna know what I want to eat? Questionable Mexican food before I go drink. Makes for excitement. Will I puke it up or shit my pants
Turns out end of the world sex is H-O-T, HOoot! I'll be the only progressive lady smiling today
My debit card was between my ass cheeks when i woke up. i vaguely remember putting it there for safe keeping
He made me come so hard I punched another hole in the wall mid orgasm.
I'm not fixing this one for you. Do it your own damn self.
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