Say something about gay babies.
He told me he wanted to break up so he could get "closer to God."
Does God suck his dick?
Say it nicely.
Fine. I want to lovingly bend you over and lovingly fuck the shit out of you. Happy?
I just want you to know IcyHot in the ear is weird. Don't ask.
at 6am he came into my room and kicked me in the stomach. when i finally got up he was passed out in my hallway and the bathtub water was running
I have a challenge for you: find out where you are. you will receive Taco Bell if you succeed
Okay: Whipped cream, vodka, and a trampoline. This will either be really great, or really tragic.
She is sending me pics of her sex faces...which totally counts as sexting in my book
My biggest accomplishment thus far this summer is having sex 5 weeks after hip surgery.
I woke up to a 3rd person picture of my own dick sent from a 1-800 number..
Our foot and a bit height difference is kinda fun, except she's so tiny that after we ate burritos it looked like she was pregnant. I had a confusing bonner.
He looks like he's going to feed me a taco and then stab me. It's probably a good idea he's a lawyer
We can't BOTH have terrible sex lives. Get fucked or throw him out.
I mean he did ask and he said it's cold out but i didn't realize we were that comfortable hahaha sex is one thing but borrowing a sweatshirt?
Locking that text forever.
40 year old guy made out with me last night while I had French fries in my mouth
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