So what if i'm late to spanish tomorrow. who the hell cares. i don't even speak spanish.
Just waterfalled in the movie theatre... this is the beginning to a good night
I can get orange kush...
GET IT NOW! WHY IS THERE A DOT DOT DOT?!
Dude you didn't move for like 2 hours then suddenly sang the chorus to ghetto superstar and passed back out
i think the doormans mad at me
well we haven't pretended to pretend we were going to have a threesome with him for a while...
I can't look at him without thinking about his cum face
Is it weird that I Facebook creep hot people from their credit card receipts?
Being single for so long makes me fucking creepy.
There's green glitter on my nipple rings. #mardigras2013
You need to stop me from lighting my hand on fire next time we're working
I should rephrase... I'm trying to not sit on other peoples faces besides my boyfriends.
No it'll be my boobs and the luge part will be from my nipples. Everyone will be sucking beer from my perfectly sculpted and partially melted tits.
Some lady found my secret pooping bathroom at work. Do I fight her Highlander style? I made or may not be fashioning a crude sword from seat covers and toilet paper rolls.
Do it. DO IT. There can be only one.
There was a slutty maid costume on the floor when I woke up, but the house was trashed. Either she's been fired or got promoted, I'm not sure which.
Why did I wake up with BYOB sharpied on my stomach
I purposely left my thong and accidentally left my ethics book, hairspray and most of my dignity.
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