Don't forget I'm 20 now
I liked you more when you were 19
i have a feeling he has a nice dick. i can just sense it.
he kept asking me if i had been in a pool or a lake recently, i didnt want to say i know where the swimmers ear came from. shower sex.
he just kept saying "come on iron man, you can do this!" to himself the whole time..
The guy is drinking 5 bottles of beer in a juice pitcher. Fucking amazing.
And when we woke up we made beer pancakes. Great start to a family picture day.
the only thing you and i have in common is the we like weed and looking at my naked body.
You drink it until you puke in a vent one time and it's ruined forever.
I learned something last night. Strippers can be on house arrest?
Just sent my cousin to buy me a new bra cause mine is zip tied to a bar in the middle of nowhere Iowa
I would sacrifice a finger for two more hours of sleep.
You fucked two dudes in the same night and still went home to your cats. How does that happen?
my grandpa paid for my boob job but he just doesn't know it.
of all the things that should kill me, scurvy wont be one of them
Like pizza and mermaids make up about 1/3 of my thoughts on the weekends.
Randomize
