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I was just standing there and then BOOM! She was attacking my face with her mouth.
I don't get it, man. She treated me like a sexual predator but treated you like a piece of meat.
And my awkwardness continues. I felt the need to send him a text that said roar. I did it.
You even been so high breaking up weed with your fingers feels like surgery?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Relationship's official after skype sex--college kid at his finest.
I blacked out the second time 3am rolled around. My brain was taking a beating trying to do that math.
i put his shirt in a ziplock bag to preserve his smell
please tell me you are kidding me
Dude how did you get resin on my keyboard?
studying for my Anatomy final and masturbating to Japanese porn are practically the same thing
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
NEW RULE: can't hook up with more than 50% of the groomsmen in wedding party or it becomes wrong kind of weird. NUMBERS GAME.
You were so drunk you decided to go out of the car window instead of using the door, once you realized what you had just done you said fuck it and went back in through the window
Well his ex just grabbed his dick and told him yep Ill call u later
We watched the first ever season of SNL and fucked for so long. He accidentally punched me in the face, but I mean, John Belushi was the background noise of our sex. I can deal with it.
A penis isn't a time share. I want to own not rent.
the fact you finally accept your bi don't shock me but as your fuck buddy I expect you girls to go family style on me
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