I need to shower the guilt off of my thighs.
i didn't know you could wash puke off of bras with a dishwasher.
Why are my keys in the refrigerator?
You said "This is gonna really confuse me tomorrow." Apparently drunk you plays pranks on hungover you.
This explains so much.
i stuck my finger in my ass and it felt weird. but you know. it should be different when a guy does it right?
FOUR LOKO IS YES. SUNDAY MORNING DRUNK IS YES.
just had sex on top of a camper looking at the stars, BEAT THAT.
Milk that cash cow for all the shots she's worth
didn't prepare for this snow storm at all. i only have like 6 beer and all my booty calls already went home for the holiday. this is bull.
DUDE FUCK CALL ME SHE HAS GRANDKIDS
I did a trust fall off the bar and then almost got into a knife fight over a push up competition. Just another Tuesday.
Let's just say when I woke up I was still drunk. My hangover hit me around noon so I chilled w my dad and took a bath and shower at the same time. You just can't do that at college
Started dabbing in blow again because he always hated that I did it. Yuh I’m doing drugs but at least I’m doing me?
Remember that gum I swallowed 3 days ago? I just threw it up.... whole.
My life just got so pathetic that I volunteered to work a double on my day off because its saturday and I have nothing else planned
Yea and there’s destruction when we’re together, mostly of our livers but W/e
Randomize
