Hawaiian shirts and no dignity
We are always on the same wavelength...kinda eerie.
If I saw her on the street and didn't know about the two of them, I would think the only way she'd ever find love was if she somehow found her way to middle earth and an orc took her in
Just set a new record on Need For Speed at the arcade. Had to enter Tiger Woods as the name.
I think I'd do Clint Eastwood.
...kinda gettin a major gay vibe from you right now.
That was a text you sent me last night.
I don't know why girls would even talk to someone as drunk as I was.
well, i woke up this morning to a note i left myself my dry erase board, "dear you: i had sex with someone awful."
Yeah dude. They were so drunk they actually drank the pool water. Which I'm pretty sure will kill them. My parents chlorine the shit out of that thing cuz they know how much sex my brothers have in it
Throwing up out both ends. This is not how I pictured adulthood.
I have to take a quiz before midnight. Trying to decided if its a better idea to take it now when I'm stoned or later when I'm drunk.
Two chicks walked outta his room and all he did was beat his chest like LeBron and yell, "And 1!"
She had a belly button piercing in the shape of a cross. Talk about mixed messages.
Yeah. That's the shitty part. God, I don't want to be a step mom. Sure I'm great with kids, but I just want unlimited sex and not have to worry about making friends with a fucking 7 year old.
Well now you know... If you can get over the awkward... The dick is 10 min away.
You win. I am a lesbian who maybe slightly jaded. I didn't mean to throw the knife at you head.
Dude she is fucking shit up. Her baby would be proud
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