i have a reoccuring irrational fear i'm going to walk in on my dad masterbating. Night.
You wouldn't stop crying and screaming Hilary Duff doesn't deserve Gossip Girl
Sam from lord of the rings is 10 yards away from me, i am creaming myself.
We ran out of things to say while we were playing Never Have I Ever so we started playing I Have Done This... Have You?
Just watched porn on a 60 inch plasma screen TV... So that's where the clitoris is
so there is either a lot of blood or a lot of wine in the shower....
Your one and only job is to make sure I am on that bus tomorrow morning with no cat makeup on my face
And I feel bad.
Because we're having a serious discussion about our sex life and you're playing minecraft?
walk of shame to my ortho appointment. kids are staring. this little girl just asked her mom if she can havr glitter in her hair too.
Apparently stumbling across interstate bridges is not cause for concern but screaming Wookie noises at cars is. Thanks, cops.
I was smelling my bathroom to make sure it didn't reek of weed...I spaced out and realized I was face to the wall sniffing it for 5 minutes.
all of these bad things happened because I didn't bring a shower beer.
I got a discount on the lube for giving the cashier focaccia bread from work.
i only got to wear my halloween costume for an half hour before it got taken off.
Apologies that our conversations always turn to butt sex or penis size. I thought we out grew that in our 20's.
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