why would she put his p in her m after it was in her a? that's gross
its gross she let him put his p in her a nevermind his p in her m after p in her v. cleaning up is necessary
i put my m on your v after my p was in your v. no big deal
i'm pretty sure the devil's penis is california-shaped
Just found out I have to work new year's eve. It's like one final 'fuck you' from 2009.
masturbating is 5million times harder to finish knowing grandma is in the guestroom downstairs. just so you know.
My roommate is on the phone with one of her friends trying to figure out how she threw up IN her pants. I'm not sure whether to burst out laughing or direct her towards Plan B.
he walkred up to the manager at dennys and said 'look, my friends passed out in your bathroom, can i go get her?'
I do believe at one point I was dispensing medical advice while wearing your sombrero and a hulk hand
I told her I named my penis "The Spirit of Exploration." That's all it took.
You know what, don't say anything. You all made fun on me for saying I would fuck him junior year when he taught us algebra and six years later, HERE I AM.
The drug dealer had chickens in his house so I know it was good stuff.
Come to the roof. We are drinking breakfast.
going on a mission to find my pants and the guy who stole my beer don't wait up
I don't know how Dave is alive, I feel like he's been drinking since I met him.
I look like a hot mess, emphasis on the hot now, more emphasis on the mess later
Well I told him I’ve got the flu....he said he’d wear a condom
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