I feel like I'm in dance class right now
Met some locals. They are taking me to a place where there is topless bullriding. I love this country.
he said "cool" when i took off my bra and proceeded to stare wideeyed at them the ENTIRE time. it was like sleeping with the kid i showed my boobs to for the first time in 6th grade.
The fact that I woke up with my panties on the counter and a piece of pizza stuck in my sheets is what scares me.
Turns out I wasn't throwing up blood, I just threw up so hard it ripped my tonsils. Thank you Jameson.
Going to.goingto.gtoing to DIE DIE DIEEEE......i feel like everyeone impotrant in my life like MLK is judging me.... saddd day
I woke up to find that chris drank one of my contacts.
Yeah he's good at that.
I hooked up with a 20 year old last night. I feel like a hocus pocus witch that sucked life from a child.
Good morning! Just thought I'd give you my yearly reminder that we lost our virginities 7 years ago, yesterday.
That's the best creepy text ever.
When I said I wanted you to make noise during sex, I didn't mean mocking ones.
we played animal sounds and i linked arms with her cuz we were both cats....fate and my community college drama teacher have chosen my one night stand
I woke up hugging a box of cheerios that had "wonder woman" written in sharpie on it. So much for a sober night.
You did a body shot out of her belly button with a bendy straw.
I ask for a dick pic and he sends a picture of Dick Cheney. Who does that?
I just threw up in the bushes and my gardener started clapping...
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