i know ur right I'm sorry I'm stupid and incompitent look I can't even spell incompetent right! Fuck!
I have a story that starts with Nutella and ends with sex in the laundry building at RIT.
i know they say sex burns calories but i think i actually gained weight from just lying there for the whole 2 minutes
All the good ones are taken. All that's left is the Harry Potter geek or the asshole in the corner. I think I'll settle for Harry Potter.
We just watched planet earth in marine bio. And our prof told us that was all we were doing on 420
So i've def seen the girl running for student body VP getting fingered in a bar.
He said he's was gunna give me some pain meds. I'm not sure what they are but I just gave him a thumbs up
I fucked him in the bathroom at Cedar Point. if it hadn't been for me already combining my two favorite things in the world the whole bathroom thing would have been a little disgusting.
And dont forget my 23rd birthday where with no underwear i crawled through the cage of the police car. Dont get drunk be fore you get drunk.
that freshman chick we always see on the weekends walked into art class wearing a jaegermeister shirt and holding a monster, which she proceeded to shotgun with a pair of scissors. It sickens me to know I will never achieve her level
I just crawled out of bed at 5AM to make her a peanut butter and Nutella sandwich. Somewhere in the distance, I could hear whips cracking.
Just told my mom I need money for Molly. She was not happy
Part of my treatment is getting high and having sex with 22 year olds. I have a prescription!
Dunno. My heart says "no", my brain says "maybe" and my dick says "YES YES FOR THE LOVE OF GOD YES!!"
You want further proof that God hates me? Okay. We're on the way to the ER. A homeless man stabbed me at the gas station.
Randomize
