we hate each other therefore the sex is mindblowing
her bridesmaids come in huge, huger, wtf, and free willy. all their gown are strapless. its like watching the Hindenburg waddle down the isle.
You rode him down the last flight of stairs like a human sled.
On that note I give you a 10 for sticking the landing and staying on the whole ride.
If you ever bitch out on 72oz margarita night again, this friendship is over
WE COULD TOTALLY DO ECSTASY AND GO TO THAT CAT SHELTER OFF OF BROADWAY.
the evidence from last night is not good...
what evidence?
my underwear is on inside out, and there are french fries in my hair...
It's like the sisterhood of the traveling vaginas over here
She insisted we fuck to Ludacris, not how I imagined popping her lesbian cherry would be. I tried delt and I liked it.
Can you explain to me why there are fake boobs glued on my chest?
When that bartender tried to tell us he sang like Sade, I knew it was time to go
I want the address of the individual responsible for strawbeeritas. I want to send them gift basket.
It's not my fault you decided to fall in love with a Frodo Baggins lookalike
We power houred with shots of red wine. Somehow we ended up with 7 bottles and lost Chris. Trying to find him this hungover is proving very unsuccessful.
TURNS OUT they were both cheating. Like the Gift of the Magi except for shitty people
Did you really think putting a napkin over your head would make you giving him a bj less obvious?
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