I have a walk of shame I should be getting to. "Hey, by the way, what is your name?" is not a conversation I want to have today
she was bad bro. like...id rather put my dick in a blender. twice.
you tried to do a keg stand and ended up flipping over it and onto the table
A homeless guy asked you to feel your boobs, you accepted in exchange for his broom to go with your witch costume..... that's when I cut you off
Does she usually listen to trance and cut up broccoli when she's high?
i don't care if its just a preseason game, my pick up a guy and suck him off in the bathroom skills are in midseason form
Going through my purse trying to find money for this cab but all I keep pulling out if chicken from my burrito o ate an hour ago. Help?
I think our prof has caught onto our drinking game. He burst into the room with a big smile on his face and yelled "essentially! Essentially! Essentially!"
I stood in my living room with two beers in my hand asking these said beers if they were going to drink each other. I then insisted that I would drink them and chugged both. Happy Halloween.
If I show up to the mall alone looking like I do to purchase a vibrator and some Japanese food, I would judge me too.
I jammed my finger giving him a hand job. Don't ask how, I'm still trying to figure that out.
Cocaine bath bombs are a really bad idea
We got cut off at a bar at 4pm. We aren't human
Just realized that I indirectly pay for sex through my cable bill
Wow. He is an expensive lay
I still have to figure out the cost per lay. It could be a financially sound investment
He graduated. He’s not my GA anymore. He’s just the 24 year old that’s helping me put a sexless marriage in the rear view mirror by exploring the Kama sutra with me
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