I think we should urban dictionary "drive of shame." It involves a sprint to your car in his underwear and shirt, surreptitiously trying to put on your bra on at stoplights without attracting attention from neighboring cars, and lurking in your car a block from home so you can know when your roommate leaves for work.
I want to do you till i cant cum anymore. Till all i get is a little flag that says "bang".
only if we run a train.
done.
We just made watching Intervention into a drinking game. We drink everytime someone does drungs.
I know this is weird, but can you ask your girlfriend if she has my mailbox?
Seriously?
100%
you puked on the porch, i can see your jacket on the floor next to your underwear. i know your home, unchain the door, you're the worst roommate ever.
dude you said you were going to be a human flag and climbed the telephone pole and fell in front of a car
i asked the cop if we could stop and do a chinese firedrill.... he said no.
She was touching herself and looking a shoes online. My debt is bad enough without bringing that hot mess into my life.
Well. Your father was, shall we say, privately surfing the Internet when he found a video of you and Kevin. This was on a very public website honey.
By the way, Kevin! OMG good catch honey!
It was incredible. For as long as I live, I will gladly drop whatever I'm doing and spend a night with her face between my legs ANY time she asks.
I am decidedly straight, but I'll write it into my wedding vows if I have to.
We call her skankles because she's a skank and she has cankles, I thought that was obvious
If I don't get struck by a lightning bolt from God by midnight it will be a Christmas miracle.
As a paramedic, it's completely unacceptable to black out on a monday. I cant handle 3 dollar shot night.
I think my roomie is silently judging me for spraining my foot by having sex in a bounce house
so the bounce house and tequila was good idea then?
Randomize