I told him I was pregnant. Figured it would soften the blow of telling him I had herpes.
Did it?
Not as such, no.
shes trying to light up her bowl in front of the fan. everytime it blows it out she just gives it a dirty look.
Just washed my feet between classes in the bathroom...Four girls totally judged me...
It went alright, nothing too special, just got threatened with a knife by our server.
Just made out with a girl I dated in high school, and she told me her girlfriend likes me. I like where this is going.
He walked into the pizza shop... Pulled the fire alarm.. And proceeded to dance to it...
and then i signed some dudes back with a turkey hand print in honor of thanksgiving
blew off easter dinner with the fam to go play shot roulette. woke up in nothing but my boxers in the back of a random pickup truck.
Impressive. I've never gotten straight denied and then chased the guy naked out of my own apt. I'll remember that next time.
As we have told you before, the first rule of hook-up bingo is we don't talk about hook-up bingo
The 666th photo in my phone is of him and if that's not a sign that he's secretly the Antichrist, idk what is. Also, bring more rum.
Oh god it's open bar.
Please god tell me you aren't pregaming your date alone.
How did i spend $200 last night?
Every time you went to get me a drink, you also came back with shots. Then you fell down the steps.
Oh yeah, nothing says welcome home like walking in on your parents having sex on your bed while the dog is watching, they told me to wait until they were done...
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