Street performer on bourbon st just lifted a sewer top so I could puke down it. I love New Orleans.
dude, showing up drunk to physics was the best idea ever. I just tripled my participation for the semester. I love st pattys day
Just saw your girl from last night... Be embarrassed
I hope the doctor doesnt lift up and my shirt and listen to my lungs. I dont want to explain why I have rug burns on my back.
my mom was in labor with me for 32 hours, it's only fair to start drinking now.
i just like, need to vent to someone
Can we skip the part where I pretend to care and fast forward to the appreciative blowjob from you?
You know that joke about taking tylenol pm and jerking off? you don't always win. sometimes you wake up in the morning naked lubed up cock in hand to the realator and would be perspective buyers laughing at you
the repo guy said it was the first time he'd ever started to repo a car with someone fucking inside of it. he might have said 'doing it' instead.
Puuuub goooolf. Being trashed at 830 never felt so right
Dude what hole are you on?....and its 9:15
hole5. 2 under par. irish nachos
Bro what are you doing Thursday the day before I go to jail??
Beer acquired. Food is cooking
Wow, you are almost sliding into home plate for some stellar fellatio
They gave me patron and potatoes I couldn't say no
CAN I WEAR ASSLESS CHAPS TO SUNDAY BRUNCH OF JUDGEMENT????
I don't have the resources to adequately explain this. I need like a Powerpoint presentation and also Vodka.
only i would get cock blocked by a cop
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