he said he wished he had more hands so he could firmly hold my boobs.
Rule #1. Nothing comes between you and fantasy sports. Not even a hot chick willing to give you a blow job
Sucks about the cops last night
to be honest when I first looked up I wanted to know who was coming from a costume party..
They're here. One showed up as a slutty Crayola, and I think the other came as The Fat Friend.
I hereby state that I am over the age of 18. If I am not of age to purchase or consume alcohol products, I hereby acknowledge that I have not received any alcohol products from said party host. Also, in the event of injury or death, said party host is not to be held accountable. Please reply with your full name and today's date for your e-signature". *note: no text, no entry.*
Sorry bro, just a precaution. You know, ever since the "Jake incident". What a douche.
Either I spilled whiskey on my boobs last night or they are fermenting. Not concerned in the slightest
In her drunkenness, she packed a bag with tequila, two shot glasses, salt, a knife, and two pears. She was prepared but too high to distinguish pears from limes.
by the way whatever wisdom you imparted upon me last night was lost to whatever i smoked out of a beer can.
Why the fuck is he under my phone as Papi Chulo?
someone just got arrested on campus...
holy fuck look at all that cocaine
Like woke up with a dick piercing kind of drunk.
I hope. Last year I got lost in New Orleans and some guy named Cookie walked me home while I cried.
I have got to stop telling people I was almost a prositute every time I drink
He said we had an hour long conversation about how awesome I was.
Same way I cope with everything else. With dildos, dunkin and depeche mode
Randomize
