dunno bout you, but i grow tired of beef curtains
I wish straight boys touched me the way gay boys do.
Please don't ever try giving my cat a hair cut ever ever again
We could make it a date. Dinner and a show. The show being my nipples getting pierced.
judging from the number of limes and box of kosher salt on the counter therell be 8.5 gallons of tequila drunk this weekend.
sounds about right
Yeah. Not my best idea. But I'm hoping for the best . And by best, I mean not jail
You were outside cuddling a rock singing Bohemian Rhapsody.
Half way through sex he whispered in my ear, " your the second best I've ever had" then proceeded to tell me to sit on his face.
This is a whole new generation of premature ejaculators
I apologize for tapping your ass. It was a friendly tap. Like Casper. Ya know
The true debate: do I prioritize going to bed and getting more than six hours of sleep or do I prioritize washing out various grease, leaf bits, and jizz out of my hair
I never imagine I'd say this, but can I ask Jeff for the butt plugs back even though it was a gift and we broke up?
Since when do my one night stands start sending you friend requests?
I need an outfit that says "thanks for hiring me" but also says "i want dick in my mouth".
Well now I’m in the bathroom puking up absinthe so guess I beat myself up over it one way or the other
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