is it wrong that I prefer my women with low self esteem and a smidgen of an eating disorder?
If God's watching us, we might as well be entertaining
best thing about halloween? there are pumpkins to puke in EVERYWHERE!
dude ... she has a full length mirror in her shower, don't even tell me shes not dtf
I just found pie in my hoodie pocket... This break needs to end.
Remember the girl passed out in front of my fireplace?
Guys, right now i need a picture of a squirrel, preferably with one of you guys but not necessary.
Wouldn't it be fantastic if the corporate world cared less about about our GPA and focused more on our mastery of social drunkenness?
'lets look at pictures of your friend's new baby' was probably the worst post-sex idea we've ever had
don't worry about my dad. he just hates you because you're liberal, not because we're fucking.
Please tell me I was just dreaming when I asked if I could borrow your jesus dildo
I just realized, you're dating a guy named Jameson. That is another level of whiskey dick.
I’m on my third beer doing poppers in the shower to no doubt
Topless, eating sour gummies, doing a crossword, at 4 AM. TELL ME IM BEAUTIFUL!
My Hitachi broke 1 day into this stay home bullshit.
Randomize
