All drunkenness aside, confirm u are alive
I think my emotional moodswings have reached a new low. I cried for the entire duration of changing my tampon.
she was a 2....and a legitimate 2. like, helen keller is a 1, this girl...2.
Now there's vomit covered trash all over the front lawn. I feel accomplished
Next guy we share better have a little more dignity than that
Chasing a shot of svedka with a clementine is NOT the same as tequila w lime...
We got jeff a deep fryer for his bday. So far the count is two potatoes and your iPod.
he spent like 10 minutes trying to convince us that he was throwing up in the bushes on purpose in order to cut weight for wrestling
And he came by and picked me up. We cuddled in his car then had sex until... an officer doing his rounds put a spotlight on crazy haired, naked me straddling him.
Like he was inside me when I made eye contact with a police man.
you know that moment when all the alcohol kicks in and suddenly you realize the bar is very loud and you just want to bite someone sexy and ride their face i am kinda at that moment
Rule #36, branched off rule 4: Dave stays on a leash in crazy settings. It keeps him good and gets you laid.
So essentially he's like a puppy you can bring to a bar? Retractable leash or chain then?
You could see the bone sticking out of his shin and he insisted he was "just gunna walk it off"
I had sex with a boy who lives in a closet, that's like having sex with Harry Potter, right?
Lmao. K I'll be 100% honest. I was over at your place like 12 hours ago with your roommate. If I hadn't of been there then I'd take you up on your booty call offer. So. If you're not creeped out another time please?
tonight...tonight im having sex in honor of you
Randomize
