i don't know how boys match. i think shoes & belt are the only thing. it doesn't matter. i just know if they look stupid.
if i get an abortion, then will you go out with me?
Did u pay ur friends to not make fun of me?
I actually kind of like the booze poos. It's like a colon cleanse. I feel skinnier.
i was focused on more important things... like standing, and not spilling my beer
Dear vodka that I hid in a water bottle in the backseat of Blairs car, I'm sorry that she gave you away to a man on side of the road with an over heated engine. I'm sure the car doesn't appreciate you as much as I would have.
Yeah, well I just made $600 while taking a shut cause two diff clients called while I was in here. Tell me being a lawyer doesn't kick ass.
You know that joke about taking tylenol pm and jerking off? you don't always win. sometimes you wake up in the morning naked lubed up cock in hand to the realator and would be perspective buyers laughing at you
I apologize for violently hooking up with her in front of you in the jacuzzi last night.
YOU WILL DIE AND I WILL CARVE 'I TOLD YOU SO' ON YOUR HEADSTONE
As long as he continues to be our subleaser and continues to fuck me, I think it's acceptable for me to steal a piece of bread here and there.
I found a bar with Metallica and a fire eater. I'm home
I love the smell of your bedroom. It smells of a mixture of cherries, leather, and unrequited homosexual desire.
I need to stop challenging people to taking off clothes. I win too often
This is either going to be a hilarious catfish or the fuck trophy of the century.
Randomize
