Thanksgiving. A stoners favorite holiday
she likes to give head while listening to britney spears, getting blown by a girl with headphones on is a nice level of separation
Every time I get scared about the fact that I'm falling for him I remember that he juggles and is hung like a mastadon and everything is a-ok.
Don't feel bad sweetie, you're not the only classy one in town. I'm still driving around with that tupperware of tequila in my cup holder from last week's Margarita Monday.
The ultimate Father's Day bonding experience: Both getting bailed out of jail by mom for mooning some shithead cop.
S.O.S. he's talking about horses and breast feeding.
Vodka drinking games. Where you wake up next to a douche lord and see your thong in the blinds.
It was like getting a handjob from a frost giant
OH MY GOD! I CAN FEEL A PULSE IN MY BALLS IT HURTS! ITS LIKE MINI FEMINIST NINJAS ARE ATTACKING MY BALLS!!!
When the strippers start dancing to Christmas songs it's time to get the fuck out!
Like he held up the condom afterwards, twirled it with his finger, and said "look at that load"
And I threw up 26 times yesterday. I actually think I threw up a spider too.
my grandpa paid for my boob job but he just doesn't know it.
Bacardi 151 is like a past nightmare I'm still curious about
eveytime i go to his house my cute clothes always get taken off what's the point of even wearing them there?
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