she was sure she was an eel. She spent 40 minutes sliterhing on the floor to get to her room
Well, it's 24 hours till finals. I need high A's on all of them and I still am not sure where exactly on campus most of my classes took place.
I have to verbally tell you. He looks good on paper...but he totally fails in person. Like communism.
i've never smoked before...when you said wake and bake i thought you meant like a funeral bbq or something
she gave me one of those friendship bracelets and said as long as I wore it it was like an all-access pass to her vagina
Apparently you get kicked out of gay bars if they catch you putting the entire free condom bowl in your purse.
As a female I reserve the right to put my ipod in my cleavage because I have no pockets and not get judged by other girls right??
You just seemed really offended whenever my cup was empty.
I take back all the times I've said life was unfair. I'm about to have two trained bartenders for a girlfriend and roommate
I'll be thirty in eight months. I think my goal is too stop changing my pants in the parking lot at work by then.
One day I'll learn not to get drunk on a plane. Today is not that day.
So the 25yr old smokeshow I fucked last night said "Prepare to be disappointed" as he put the condom on. I was. 40 is bullshit.
You know how it is. Tell me not to do somebody and suddenly I wanna.
lol show me an arrest record and I'll drop my panties
Tonight is an "I'm lonely and single so I'm going to curl up in a warm, melatonin and vodka enriched ball in the corner of my bed with a cat." kind of night.
Randomize
