I think tonya harding is in my dwi class!
Ask her how she and Jeff Gillooly split the cats after the divorce.
You can spell. I can kill people with no remorse. We all have our skills.
She looks like an uncircumcised penis in a hat.
Dude. He only had one testicle. It was like his whole package was a Muppet Show character coming at me.
it's like russian roulette but with a penis
I called her new haircut "lesbian progressive" and now she's upset
Tidal wave of highness just hit. Find shelter and catnip. gloves. zebra striped car washes.
I am pretty sure they consider me one of the "bros". They compliment girl's racks to me and are the human forms of dick-be-gone. They won't sleep with me more than once cause it's "weird", or let any "untrustworthy boys" sleep with me and I still help them get laid. Not...fair...
Is it a bad thing that I'm trimming my nose hairs in anticipation for the 8ball to be delivered?
The most adult decision I've mad today was Jameson or Fireball? It's been a successful Day
Things were going really well until his cousin showed up. She told him I look kind of like his mom, which started a ten-minute debate on my and his mother's specific features, and ultimately, who is prettier. Guess who my date picked.
the guy working the counter at the liquor store noticed i got my haircut and said it was pretty.....
He said he doesn't "believe" in cuddling. Can you come get me?
Well I've decided to refuse to conform to society and be naked the rest of the day.
Had a job interview today. Walked into the room and said "IT'S GO TIME, BITCHES".
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