I wish Pampers made couches for people like us.
I just used a tire swing as a toilet. I think I'm gonna pass out here so I can see the look on the first kid who uses it in the morning.
don't you miss freshman year when you could get away with "but i've never given a bj before..."
well, it ended with me crying outside the strip club saying i don't want to be 21 anymoree. i'd say it was a great 21st birthday.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I just woke up to pictures of every angle of his dick I'll ever need to see.
If you're wondering about the pepper everywhere its for the ants and it was my doings. They hate pepper. You're welcome.
She told me she loves her boyfreind while she was giving me head. He must be a nice guy
Yes but that point is quickly negated bc u should never have to search more than one room to find your underwear.
omg just made cake vodka jello shots, sooooo excited
dear god these taste like death. death and sprinkles
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I would fuck him In a heartbeat, an obese child running up stairs with an irregular heartbeat, heartbeat.
You did a body shot out of her belly button with a bendy straw.
I'm in Florida in a retirement community the fuck am I supposed to do but watch tv and disgrace Jesus
Also I just took the BEST ass selfie of my adult life.... it's gonna be a good day haha
This girl in my class is lecturing my professor about zombies. It has been going on for 15 minutes.
Zombies?
Zombies.
Question: how does one descretely ask the ice cream truck driver thats out at 10:00pm if he sells weed?
Randomize