been sitting in chapter for 25 minutes. drinking last night's franzia out of a XXX vitamin water 10 bottle. recruitment chair has no idea. life is good.
The only thing that would make my night better is if William Shatner came and read me a bedtime story.
It's weekends like this that make it obvious why we have to pay to come to college.
I was. I was trying to blow bubbles in the toilet after I threw up in it. They had to carry me everywhere. I lost a sock.
I went to the bathroom like 8 times and each time I looked in the mirror and tried saying "I am sober." I burst out laughing when I got to "so-" every time. If you can't convince yourself, you can't convince anyone else. Fuck it, I'm going upstairs and drinking more.
You make your fellow Jews happy.
It's very clear that i'm the girl sweating out four lokos at 2 in the afternoon at the gym
I know I'm her Sunday school teacher. I just feel I would be saving others from a lot of headaches by telling her someday she's going to be a stripper
Other than a hickey from some random Canadian roller derby girl, I came out unscathed
The police woke me up so they had no choice but to see my morning wood.
How am I so hungover that wearing sunglasses hurts my head?
I don't know. Something about answering "what did you do on Sunday?" Seems odd when the reply is, painted, went to the grocery store, put a restraint device on my bed.
well theres no bloody mary mix at the campus bookstore so i dont even know what its good for
he drank half a bottle of bushmills, stood up to pee over the side, pissed his pants, sat in the puddle on the deck, told me my life goals were stupid and impossible, and wouldn't leave until 5am. by the time I got up at 8 I had 4 texts and 2 fb messages from him. AND HE STILL THINKS IT WENT WELL
There's so many drinking games in the Olympics.
you missed out this chick was licking her paddle
Are you coming over for scrambled eggs and hand jobs?
Randomize
