do you think they make "congratulations unfit mother" greeting cards?
or abortion recommendation cards.
soooo.. i guess the cop said he'd drop the charges if i go to some AA meetings and i said fuck AA. not one of my better choices.
they had a keg party to fund her abortion.
I'm seeing double. Its like being in a room full of people
I had to sleep with my math professor to pass algebra. Apparently my blowjobs are only C+ quality
Had to. She was getting married in 2 days & her vag was having a close out sale. You know I love a good bargain.
I petted my head, told my hair it felt beautiful and needed to be let free. Then pulled out my pony tail. Cheers to weed. I lose.
Bailey. He has a soul patch. Idgaf if he was an NFL player. Nobody with a soul patch is attractive.
I text him "Dude. Tryna get fucked here. I only have half the parts. I need your help" I'm sure my mom would be super proud of the woman I have become.
mom is telling me the setting in which I was conceived
did you know we used to have a pool?
My dream date: Hotdogs/nachos from the bar & tequila. Is that too much to ask?
sometime during the night he found me in the empty hotttub singing marvins room in only my bra.
He wanted to take me to breakfast in the morning. He told me he respects me after I said no. I told him to respect me at a distance.
You did what with his pubic hair?
i can feel my liver failing just LOOKING at that thing
Randomize
