id tell you what to do, but my morals dont exactly scream, "Listen to this guy!"
Haha so you are never gonna want to meet my mom now...she just found your thong in her front seat
why do all canadians talk like horny gerbils are stuck in their throats?
Just saw two girls doing a walk of shame together. Slut bonding at it's best.
well I mean we knew we had more drinkers than runners, so we had a "case race for the cure" for relay for life instead of an actual marathon. day drinking and philanthropy. can't go wrong.
You actually went to class. Im eating dry cereal naked and watching bring it on.
Take my keys. Load me into the vehicle. Drive. Get food. Come back. These are my demands.
second attempt at shower sex: failed after the water turned orange bc of a fire up the street. this is just not meant to be
YOU ARE OBSESSED WITH PORCHES. I AM OBSESSED WITH PORCHES. HOW IS THIS REAL.
If kinky sex was an Olympic sport they would be playing the anthem for me as we speak.
It looks like I murdered a care bear and put its blood in my hair to warn the others off.
I wish they would just make alcoholic protein shakes already.
I just found peanut butter between my boobs. This was for you.
If only he'd realize the fondness I have for his genitals.
What?? I could've slept with an ordained minister!
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