just took a cab, driver just asked what i'd been drinking- i said vodka, he said "can't do vodka-drunk, it makes me feel like i'm giving birth to myself" ...no comment
Pretty girls always come out on top. Or bottom. Whatever. Point is we come out with their boyfriends.
He IMed me 5 times, before my homepage even loaded. This is not gonna work out for me
I went outside for a smoke at 4 and things seemed normal. It's 6 now and the front lawn is COVERED in tortilla chips. WTF?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
this dude just took some girl under your house for half an hour. you may have helped a 17 year old fuck on the beach for the first time. congrats.
Her boyfriend only talks to me because I know her period schedule
I have yet found the courage to put pants on. No judgement thursday led to no shower friday and now no pants saturday. God i miss college.
drunk. just smoked a spliff with a 19yr old hungarian bike taxi driver and bonded over the difficulties of getting weed in a different country. idk y shit like this isnt in the study abroad info packets
i'm calling it my monica lewinsky shirt now. may it live forever in infamy.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Lmao I should put that ad on Craigslist "in need of muscular and determined team of men to carry drunken birthday whore safely home"
You passed out and I didn't draw a penis on your face. Sister of the year.
Do you know how hard it is to put a bandaid on a vagina?
At least get laid and waffle fries out of it you whipped basterd
I want you inside me. Finish your papers.
first he passed out on the toilet...then hugged it and screamed no no no as i tried to pull him out
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