i just saw an asian skipping down the street and it made me think of you
How long is the appropriate time period between a pregnancy scare and breaking up with my girlfriend?
I am gunna fuck the accent right out of her mouth
His dick is longer than my foot and I'm a size 9. I'm literally kicking myself in the vagina
I really just want to stuff him in my purse, take him home, feed him pudding or applesauce and brush his hair. That's not creepy, right?
You told her to step on the scale because you had whiskey goggles, and scales don't lie.
It was awful. Their identical twins so it was like having sex with Jeff wearing a wig and shaved legs.
After the Jell-o shots and about 6 shots of lighter fluid brand tequila, it got to the point where breathing was painful. All I could do was pray I didn't fall asleep in the front yard.
I don't know. I was hiding and the bed was banging. I am going to sleep now in someone's car.
This guy on the bus keeps leaning over and sniffing my hair.
I dreampt that we were shooting zombies while we having sex. Is that normal?
Your normalization of crazy is frightening.
First walk of shame in 18 years. Divorce is going well.
How was it?
i think i smell bacon but im to sore to walk downstairs. that kinda night
I couldn’t resist. He had a camouflage condom. You know I love a man in a uniform
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