i've never been more proud of someone than i was when he told me he got his first blowjob at age 13...from two chicks
i think i just witnessed the elusive male walk of shame
i do not condone bathtub ky wrestling
no really all good couples have similar hair colors!
We had sex in the ocean but the tide took our clothes away too. Its no fun walking back to the dorm wearing only a beach blanket between you.
Dude. No way. She insults the term butterface. She's a butternothing.
New policy: when a woman uses the word blowjob in a sentence within 5 minutes of meeting her, you buy her a drink.
My Grampa even called her out for being a cock block at the bar...it was that serious
i just remembered i chipped my tooth last night when i pulled up your pants zipper with my teeth
Just took a shot out of a used mini planter. Might die from the pesticides, but didnt want whoever took all of my shotglasses to think they won.
Just found weed in my belly button. Happy Saturday!
Puking in the Ritz Carlton bathroom was actually kind of a nice experience
Me too like the fact they didn't arrest me wants to send them an edible arrangement
Just had sex in the room next to my parents. Heading back to school ASAP.
So if he doesn't show up do we eat his birthday cake? Because I'm stoned and wrestling is on. What's the proper protocol
Randomize
