the thought of Anne Coulter teabagging Dick Cheney kills me everytime.
blow job with a beer in the shower, I just created the ultimate day spa for dudes
I just saw a Kleenex commercial and thought about last night. I'm sorry about your hair.
she gave him a mild concussion from throwing him against the wall in an attempt to dance with him. gotta love monday nights at the sandbar.
Just made a drug deal by throwing my money to my dealers window and receiving weed the same way. We are the definition of typical lazy stoners.
at what point did putting a bag of doritos in the freezer seem like a really good idea?
Gay TA. Finally going to boost my GPA your way.
Hahaha alright after 5 shots I'm not allowed to touch glass or boys with girlfriends.
i sat alone in my bed and ate pizza and garlic fingers. The icing on the cake was hearing your moans from down the hall.
let's just say I never want to get pulled over and have to explain to the cop why I'm wearing a false beard again.
We were showing our tits to everyone because it's breast cancer awareness month and we care deeply
I thought we were doing it cause it's Tuesday
I was so high I told him we should rub faces and pretend to be wombats. He was surprisingly enthusiastic about it.
yeah, I don't think I'm getting into the baseball game tonight. The security guard definitely saw me bowl over that child.
i just want a position where we can lock up like some sort of sexual megatron and go the whole night that way
The main motivators in my life are my sex drive and spite
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