the stripper made me go home becuz she had to take her kid to a birthday party in the morning
dude we were spooning naked in bed with her ass in my crotch. she sharted in her sleep all over my dick.
he kept looking at my chin until i asked why, then he just said he was making sure his balls didnt leave a mark.
My boss' voice literally gives me gas
the liability waiver did not state that i couldn't bring my bottle of wine in the bouncy castle. it did Not.
I vaguely remember telling people they were not trash cans
she took out her dip, threw up, and put it back in. it was like a scene from Nick and Nora's trip to the trailer park.
Jason Williams (yeah the ex-nets center...) drunkenly told me that, while drinking, I should take an ambien and a cialis before i go home...that will "give me a 25 minute window to have sex and then goto sleep before the bitch starts bothering me"....
dipping my christmas cookies in kaluha. santa would be proud.
just witnessed some guy trade his friend $5 and a condom for his keys.
shouldve known this week was gonna be bad when I threw up in my coffee mug
ugh... thank God for ATM withdrawal limits. I was drunk enough to give that weird shaped stripper all of my money while making her cry in the back room.
Not sure. All I know is that she has a tight dark green skirt and I will not rest until I have used my teeth to rip it off of her
The cab driver just showed us a POV shot of himself getting ridden by a chick he took with his flip phone. Confirmed not taken in cab. Gonna be a good night...
you were making out with a girl because you told her you were part of Nsync
Randomize
