It just feels so wrong throwing away the condoms into her Hello Kitty trashcan
his cum tasted like old pizza and looked like old milk
It's alarming how good I'm getting at being productive at work on Thursday after Johnny Walker Wednesdays.
Nice. Don't spend your therapist's co-pay on Jaeger bombs.
i have at this current moment imbibed enough alcohol to float immerse or otherwise submerge a goat of respectable size. tequila
I woke up with a pinecone in my hair. A full pine cone.
Try not to get arrested for it, but otherwise i support you
He's CUTE. and foreign
it's almost 8pm and i'm still hungover. at what point do i alert someone?
Well on a lighter note, I had sex in a food truck.
I just want to get drunk and wake up on Wednesday
Stop calling dibs on everything with a vagina you jackass.
That should be the title of my autobiography.
She ran from her surprise party screaming "I'm not ready for an intervention." Yeah, the girl has a problem.
I was in a penguin suit. Dick out. I am confident in the value of my pic.
He also needs to focus on not being such a little bitch, but that's none of my business.
Naked. Naked is my favorite color.
Randomize
