It would be worth it to see how drunk he is right now.
He cartwheeled into the side of the neighbor's garage.
Ok, i'm coming over
do you know why "how to shave your balls" is bookmarked on my computer?
I bet him anal if they won...the one time Detroit decides to win, it had to be this week
You can now add 30,000 feet to the places where I have puked
keep it on the DL tho cause i dont want it getting out and it coming off like i kidnapped her or something
He bought me shots at the bar as his way of of paying me back for Plan B
She was stumbling around looking for her cat. She said i could help, but i had to call him by his jungle name
Naked Twister starts at high noon
After giving a back rub to someone in the bathroom of the theater, he ripped an "employees must wash hands" sign off the wall to prove that he could and proceeded to hang it up in his house.
I can't drink with the moms anymore. All they talk about is lactating.
What's the right thing to say when he sends me a picture of his penis ?
Talk about an dramatic entrance, girl rolled up on a stolen bike and was wearing heels and a dress, through it on the ground and said "you guys want a bike?" Of course i jumped on that shit, any sane person would!
It's 9:07 in the morning and I am so hungover right now I'm about to take the kids I'm babysitting to mf'ing Popeyes bc that's all I want in this world
He ate me out while watching Fifty Shades of Grey---needless to say I'm locking this down
It's not just going to appear. A lot of blood, sweat, tears, and leg work went into finding a cock that amazing!
Randomize
