"you've got the devil in yuh. the curse of Jesus is coming on your sex soon." That's what a homeless guy just told me.
she bought me drinks at the bar, made me pizza at her place, gave me head, and then drove me home...i think i might propose
yeah my parents were only ten feet away and we somehow managed to do it in five different positions without them noticing
I walked in on him shirtless licking the mirror while talking to his reflection. So yes, I definitely want to do shrooms the next time you get them.
Is it creepy to message a girl and say you had me at stocked liquor cabinet?
your like the ambassador to my penis.
I'm gonna fingerblast you when you get off work. Get ready.
I have the perfect view of a sexy blonde in yoga pants stretching from the shoulder press machine. I'll be here all night. So glad I came high.
Ur here with me in spirit. Now run free. Run free
Concert was great. Tackled the lead singer. Met him afterwards. He was cool about it.
Nice just gets you lonely or dead. I don't like those options.
Can you come get Dustin he's putting taco bell fire sauce on cigarettes trying to light them again.
And fyi howling is not an acceptable form of communication.
Might as well permanently tattoo lush somewhere on my body and show it to people when I decide to drink so they won't serve me.
Will you be super villain lesbian lovers with me for halloween?
Ahhh the shame of taking out my recycling
Randomize
