i really like this girl i slept with last night
you ask her out again?
yeah but she said she is busy next weekend getting married
I don't think he has that. His apartment was pretty much a tv and a bed. Topless girl calendar and a glass of water to put out cigarettes.
Do you think flip cup during wine tasting is a bad idea? They're perfect flipping cups...
THE MIME IS MIMING TO BUST A MOVE KARAOKE. ALL MIME-RELATED EVENTS DESERVE CAPS LOCK
There's a really old guy here with a really young girl. I'm guessing he has to make choo choo train noises to get his dick in her mouth.
she never specifically said NOT to fuck her boyfriend so technically we can still be best friends
Seriously-without actually meaning the statement for it's words- that made me want to put a baby in you.
Just watched a girl fall down the stair and be to drunk to get up. The only stair in the bar. It's like watching a turtle on it's back.
I think you should just bang him and get it out of your system.
That's what you say about everyone.
Where are you? Your parents are here. Their flight got in early.
Trashy Tequila Tuesdays. Have them meet me here @ the bar.
I'm not sending your parents to see you drunk at a gay bar. What kind of boyfriend do you think I am?
A great one. Entertain them i'll be home soon....... I think
We're eating jello shots in the library. I love the day after Valentine's
I want you more than I want a burrito.
I'm not as filling.
I've lost every trace of self esteem. Even sneaking a BJ in the coffee room has lost it's luster.
You have got to be the only man who has passed out while getting a lap dance.
I can't dude. Last time I was there, I blew the bartender in the bathroom at last call.
Randomize
