We all just poured out a sip of our drinks for you. One for our pussy whipped homie.
so i was supposed to be to work at 8..but its 9:15 and im currently standing stoned in the middle of holiday...with a bag with three doughnuts, two redbulls, and a slim jim..
god i miss watching you do this...
Yeah i mean there's 3 guys fighting over me. It would just be bitchy of me not to get with at least 1.
I save people's lives for a living, but I want to ruin his marriage.
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I don't know how, but he made a bong out of a hamster wheel. To say I am impressed is an understatement.
You were carrying around a milk crate, randomly putting it down calling out 'praise be to the milk gods' and making people pray to it.
Please root for the ravens. I now have oral sex riding on this and it's been sooooo long
We were taking body shots by lunch. I love college.
Yeah, I'm sure we have time for sex AND ihop.
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SOS... STANDING IN THE BAR NEXT TO MY BF AND THE GUY WHO I HOOKED UP WITH ON CHRISTMAS DAY..
The fact that the praying hands are in my top emojis defines how 2016 is going so far
HE PUT A HOLE. IN. MY. HOUSE!!!
I can't believe just smoked out of a pear
I can't believe you had a pear already made to smoke out of, that was impressive
I gave your mom a discount on her coffee, its my way to say thanks for having a son that makes me come every time
He kept saying "i'm lost" while he was sitting on his couch...
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