I wanna eat
then frost
then eat your cupcake
yah I made NO friends last night. at one point i think i replaced talking with spitting
I just learned that your liver regrows itself every 2 months. Best news I've heard all week.
I wonder what it would be like to go to the dry cleaners and not have to inform them that all my clothes are stained with booze.
better to have posed nude and lost than to never have posed nude at all...thats what i always say
yea last night was a repeat of newyears...exept this time it ivolved a fish costume, throw up, a hole in the roof, and cops...lots of cops
I wouldn't be surprised. You and I have basically synced up our brain chemistry by doing drugs together in the same way that two girls would sync their menstrual cycles by sharing a house.
please come upstairs a drunk asian is lying down n the middle of my room and i don't know him
All three shower stalls were filled with couples fucking and then someone yelled "switch" and... We switched
Not even joking, someone broke into the house to watch porn. The cops are on the way.
I mean I'm not gay but a hundred bucks is a hundred bucks
Dude. That Grinch had his priorities right when he was worried that there might be a cash bar at that town celebration.
BUT I'M ALSO ONLY IN IT FOR SEX AND HE CAN'T EVEN GET THAT PART RIGHT.LIKE LITERALLY ALL HE HAS TO DO IS DICK ME DOWN AND BE A DECENT HUMAN BEING IS THAT SO HARD TO ASK?!
How so I keep attracting the virgins? HOW?
You talk about your love for your ninja turtle onesie when you're drunk. Are you really surprised?
Um so I might have accidentally on accident maybe blew up the bottom half of your truck...
Randomize
